Throughout my time in the classroom and teaching children, children never cease to astonish me as well as crack me up with their amazing little minds. Some of the things that they say are incredibly profound and cause me to drown into a well of wonder, while other things are so witty and clever that I helplessly burst into laughter in front of their eyes.
Here I will contain some of the magic I witness erupt from the brains of little children. <3
*Working on division, Student gets problem correct*
Me: Good job!
Student: I’m on fleek.
Me: *makes silly face*
Student: That sounded better in my head
Kid: “Rock rhymes with dock”
Me: “waffle rhymes with falafel”
Kid: “you just made that word up.”
10 yr old: “I’m going to be so handsome when I’m 25.”
“Mrs. Stagg, you’re happy one minute and mad the next. It’s creepy.”
Student (Calvin): “Ms. Stagg how do you spell tsunami?”
Calvin: *Blank stare* “I said TSUNAMI.”
Student #1: “Mrs. Stagg, you’re like Joy!”
Me: “Oh, like from Inside Out? That’s sweet.”
Kid #2: “Yeah and sometimes Anger.” :|
Me: “Do you think that being an astronaut would be a neat job?”
Student (Jacolbi): “N to the O because what if you get up there and there’s a bunch of buttons and you don’t know what to press and then you blow up?”
Another student across the room (Antowain): “THATS WHY YOU GO TO SPACE SCHOOL.”
Israel: “Ms. Stagg, I want to know more about my ancestors. And anbrothers.”
Kid: “are you from Canada?”
Me: “no, why?”
Kid: “because you sound like you’re from Canada. Or Texas.”
Parent to me on the field trip: “You a teacher? You need a raise. I would been out on week 2 on early retirement.”
The statement made every day in my Social Studies class: “Ms. Stagg, he dead?”
“But Ms. Stagg! My cupcake tastes like a bell pepper!” -referring to why he couldn’t eat his banana nut muffin for breakfast
“Ms. Stagg did you used to teach kindergarten? Because you always calling everybody baby”
Comments about my fox costume at school today: “So, are you a coyote?” “If you are a kangaroo then where’s your pouch?” “She’s not a kangaroo, she’s a rabbit!
The comments today about my outfit included, “You’re dressed like something from Halloween” and “Ms. Stagg, you look like a witch.”
This mother/daughter duo next to me in Target is having the exact same conversation I had while shopping with my mom growing up.
Mother: What about this? This is cute.
Angsty Daughter: No.
Mother: You need new shoes. Why don’t you like these?
Angsty Daughter: I just don’t.
Mother: Why not? This is the style.
Angsty Daughter: I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE STYLE!!!!
Shontrell (age 8): “The dentist be actin so dumb sometimes. How they gonna give you candy when you up in there to get your teeth fixed? That’s just dumb. But I be eatin it anyway.”
Natreviona (age 8): “I saw this lady smoking, and I told her, ‘you gonna have black lungs’ and she said she was gonna keep smoking anyway, and I said, ‘If you wanna die that’s on you.’ And then I ran.”
Me : Christopher, if you don’t sit down I’m going to superglue you to your chair. Christopher: (Looking very scared) How will I go to the bathroom?
Me: “Guys, what do you think a characteristic is?” Roland: “A characteristic is a long word.”
Comments made about my appearance today: “Ms. Stagg, your eyes are small.” “Ms. Stagg, you look young.” Ms. Stagg, are you 16?” “Do you weigh 25 feet?” “Do you turn 20 tomorrow?” “Ms. Stagg, why do you wear those big socks?” “Ms. Stagg, you’re a ballerina.”
“Ms. Allison, you look young but your age is old.”
“You can’t die if you’re a lego.”
“Ms. Stagg, do you have makeup on? You look new.”
“Ms. Stagg, I’m officially a man.” -7 yr old
“Ms. Stagg, I’m wearing skinny jeans! They are hurting my skin though.”
“Miss Allison, you like to draw and to laugh and to smile. Do you smile all day long?”
“I don’t know how to draw a ‘m’! I guess I can’t be a speller when I grow up.” -Aiden, age 4
Me: “So what did you do all day?” Beau: “Pretty much just.. Climbed trees.”